I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
