And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so let's talk penis.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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