all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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