woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
