He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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