I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
