Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
