You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You ruined the universe
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
