every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
