He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sext me about skeletons
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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