hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
