We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
