you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
