Can Purell be used as lube?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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