I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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