well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Randomize
