I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
