Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
