I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
