I'm drive I can fine osifer
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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