HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
