If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
