I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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