and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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