You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
