Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think your dad took our porno
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
