and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
