Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
home. puking in laundry basket.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
