the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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