One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
