You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
