He asked to "fluff my boner.."
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
