I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
ttyl tear gas
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
