I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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