Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
