im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
