Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize