You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
