I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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