Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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