she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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