I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
