i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
