I got chris browned last night
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
