Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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