the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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