i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
