guys are only as good as the porn they watch
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
