my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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