Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
this just has baby written all over it
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
