Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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