Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
