Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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