Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
