dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i now understand why vodka
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
