You're completely useless in the revolution.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i out mim tonsoeep
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