I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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