After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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