i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
