and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think my vagina is haunted
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
